English the Official Euro language

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as Euro-English (Euro for short). In the first year, 's' will be used instead of the soft 'c'. Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard 'c' will be replaced with 'k.' Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced by 'f'. This will make words like 'fotograf' 20 per sent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent 'e's in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' by 'z' and 'W' by 'V'. During ze fifz year, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou', and similar changes vud of kors; be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil b no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru. )

LOL!!!!!!!

wat sh*t you talking? you old cantagaris old fa#t? why dont u sit on smting and rotate and keep your trap shut? arse hole?

the english are so over-rated

AL ZAT VAZ VUNDZEBAR

This appears a daft thread, so here is a Paddy Joke!

Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the
Irish countryside. The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about
golf, greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the
golfing pro is.
"Top of the mornin' to yer, sir" says the attendant.
Tiger nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As
he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.
"What are those?, asks the attendant. "They're called tees" replies
Tiger. "Well, what on the lord's earth are dey for?" inquires the
Irishman. "They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving", says
Tiger.
"Fook me", says the Irishman, "BMW thinks of everything."

Don't understand a word, when the english speak... hehehehe