Scotia after a year?

Hi all, its not been another year but it feels like it.

Its my birthday soon so felt I was due another scotia post.

The pub is very time consuming with the site plus horses and going for meals on my day off, life is rushing by.

We are having fun with the horses and the Shams have been great since we took our horses to PE, again a big thanks to Ivan Moore for sending them in great condition.


Miss Diana has moved to the Shams

We could be looking at buying another so if you are keen on a share send me a mail.

Some great racing up North as we start our night racing in addition to the Charity Mile and Summer Cup, we will have a bash at the box and maybe catch one of these big exotics.

The site is as busy as ever and as always many interesting and controversial topics, here are a few

Joao caps thanks again to Debbie

Shams auction some cracking items

Anabolic steroids

Emperors Palace ready to run sale

Plus much more have a look.......

Most of the major races have come and gone for the season and we keep finding new champs, the ARC winner looks something very special and we basically only have the Melbourne Cup to go Fiorente fav on the 5th Nov.

Then the jump season for a few of us.

As far as the ante post markets, we tend to lack a bit interest with local racing but we can always follow MDK overseas.


Soft Falling Rain

We do have Ascot this weekend where Cirrus Des Aigles 13/10 looks good for the Champion Stakes but all eyes will be on Soft Falling Rain (MDK) and ironically with a change in the weather is drifting in the betting and 6/1 now on offer after opening up fav. Dawn Approach has gone 16/10 with Farhh and Toronado making the QE11 a must to watch

The football season has thrown a few shocks and the betting has been adjusted to City 22/10, Chelsea 3/1, United and the Gunners 6/1 and the Pool 7/1.




On a lighter note,


hope you enjoy some more one line classics

Everything is easier said than done. Except for talking and that's about the same.

You have to question the modus operandi of people who use Latin for no reason.

I got so drunk last night I don't know if I found some keys or lost my car.

News Headline 'LSD makes users lose weight'. That makes sense; it's bloody hard to get to the fridge when there's a 10 foot tall purple dragon guarding it.

I love the sound of thunder and rain. It hides the screams coming from my basement.

If electricity always follows the path of least resistance, why doesn't lightning only strike in France?

If there's one thing I've learnt from Formula 1 over the past 2 decades, it's the German national anthem.

The American flag on the moon has turned white due to the exposure of solar radiation. That's great. Now France will claim that they've landed on the moon.

Back when I was a kid, there was no internet, so people would sometimes have to walk for miles just to bully me.

Is it just me, or are there any other anagrams of em?

Me and the wife have just been fighting over which is the best vowel......I won.

Last night the wife said I've got delayed reactions. I was so shocked I had to pause for a minute.

The wife is taking me out shopping tomorrow she said I need new clothes as I look too middle aged. Bugger that, I love wearing my suit of armour

Don't you just hate that situation when you're picking up your bags at the airport, and everyone's luggage is better than yours? It’s a real worst case scenario.

When my girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking...........And then I saw her face.

Apparently, towels are the biggest cause of dry skin.

I walked into a pub and said to the barman, "Schooner of Gold please mate."
He said, "Are you 18?"
I said, "No."
He said, "I can't serve you then."
As I walked out I thought to myself, "This is the fourth pub - what does a 22 year old have to do to get a schooie round here?"

My son is starting school soon and thinks the other children will pick on him because of his name. I said, "Don't be silly, Someoneyourownsize, why would anyone pick on you?"

A book just fell on my head. I've only got my shelf to blame.

I got chased by a mugger the other day trying to steal my wallet. Halfway through the terrifying ordeal, I couldn't help but think to myself, "He's giving me a good run for my money."

"Jesus loves you." May be a nice gesture in church. But it’s not what you want to hear in a Mexican prison.

I lost my mood ring. I don't know how I feel about this.

Cleavage is the only thing that you can look down on and approve of at the same time.

I recently found a round, black piece of plastic, with a hole in the middle and grooves on both sides. I picked it up and threw it. It flew for more than 300 yards.
I'm sure that must have been a record.

I saw a guy stacking shelves at Coles complaining because the top shelf was broken, and he couldn't keep it up. I think he had a wrecked aisle dysfunction.

I won $10,000 on a scratchie last week and the wife said we should draw up a list of what to spend it on. "Well, I'm going to book a holiday for one." I said. "Oh goody" she screamed excitedly, "I can't wait!"........ I can't help thinking she's misunderstood what I said.

I said to my mate, "I just watched that film about the Nazis."
He said, "Oh what, the one with Adolf in?"
I said, "No mate, you're thinking of 'Flipper', this one was just about the Nazis."

I just hired a really uncomfortable car......It Hertz like hell.

I've got a fear of two-letter words.......I get scared just thinking about it.

My wife made the allegation "I think you've had an affair with that Welsh tart, from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch".
I said, "How can you say such a thing?"

ABC News reported “Bartender drowned in a tidal wave of tonic water after a case exploded” sources say he was Schwepped away.

Took me 2 hours to grill a chicken yesterday but still couldn't get it to tell me why it crossed the bloody road.

I've found out the reason that women ask so many questions.......They have an extra why chromosome.

I was reading this book on the anatomy of a pig. It was pretty standard, but I got to the end and found there to be a twist in the tale.

My mate used to be a heroin addict until he started cutting the stuff with OMO...... He’s been clean ever since.

My mate Daniel wouldn't believe me when I told him that his name was an anagram.....He's in denial.

News Headline 'Mystery over flat victim's death' No mystery to me ... He probably got run over by a steam-roller.

I used to feed gorillas at the Zoo from a distance using a golf club........I'd drive them bananas.

Edward Deidde, the man who spent his entire life explaining that his surname was "deed" has collapsed..........He was airlifted to hospital where he was pronounced dead

"Have I made myself clear?".....Said the chameleon as he stood in front of a sheet of glass.

I was coming home from work today and I saw a Nun riding on a Clowns back. I couldn’t help but to think to myself that's just virgin' on the ridiculous.

A Zulu walking through the jungle comes across a pygmy standing over a dead lion.
"Did you kill that lion?" asks the Zulu.
"Yeah, I beat it to death with my club," the pygmy replies.
"Crikey, you must have a big club," says the Zulu.
"Aye, there's about thirty of us."

And finally............

My three unwritten rules :
1.
2.
3



Good punting and may your God be with you

scotia

Thanks for the light ones Scotia.

Please remind us when it's your birthday so that we can sing you a happy happy:)-D

Nice ones there Dave. Worth a good chuckle

Well done to the Shams for doing so well with Miss Diana.

What about Bud Boy runs Friday and Miss D Monday :)o

Yep bud has improved IMO

Your light hearted 'quickies"
What is the quickest way to a womans heart?

Use a scalpel to make an incision in her chest,
smash the ribs apart with an axe,
then you should be able to tear through the remaining sternum
and muscle tissue with your bare hands.-D

hibernia Wrote:

---

> Yep bud has improved IMO


he dont have to improve he race against weaker horse.

Ok it gets worse


I tried to photograph the fog. I mist

When Chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

I know a guy who is addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime.

How did Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type O

A dyslexic man walks into a bra . . .

PMS jokes aren't funny. Period.

We are going on a field trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there are no pop quizzes.

Energizer Bunny arrested. Charged with battery

I didn't like my beard at first, . . and then it grew on me.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Broken pencils are pointless.

Ha Ha - nice way to start the day:)

hehehe

lame