It`s a Shit Job.....

leg massages back massages breast massages other massages the list is endless!!!

antsy ???:

Your list is long, Ant, and I'm sure you're willing to multitask if required. I shall inform the organisers that you are just the man for the job. Of course you realise that my recommendation carries only a little weight, it's the players themselves that will have the final say. Are you avaliable for an ... interview? Btw, Antsi = antses in the pantses.

yes i will be in a position to multitask as both my hands are functional .
I have my arnica oil ready . Put in a good word for me.

Janitor at a Porno Theatre

Janitor, in itself, is a pretty bad job. But, porno theater janitor is the worst job on the list. The main responsibility of the porno theater janitor is to take his mop and rag and wide up after each show is finished. Unlike a traditional theater, it's safe to assume that sticky substance under the chair is something other than Coca-Cola Classic! At least you get to see all that porn for free and you'll probably be very popular among your male friends, although this is probably not a job you want to talk about with your mother, or your wife for that matter. (Link)





Animal Masturbator

Researchers who want animal sperm -to study fertility or for artificial insemination-have a suite of attractive options: They can ram an electric probe up an animal's rectum, shove an artificial
vagina onto the animal's penis, or simply do it the old-fashioned way-manual stimulation. The first option, electroejaculation, uses a priapic rectal probe to send electricity pulsing through the animal's nether regions. "All the normal excitatory signals that stimulate ejaculation, like touch, sight, sound and smell, can be replaced with the current from the probe," says Trish Berger, professor of animal science at the University of California, Davis. "It's fascinating. Of course, this is a woman talking." Electroejaculation generally requires anesthetizing the animal and is typically used on zoo dwellers. The other two methods-the artificial vagina, or AV, and the good old hand-require that animals be trained to the procedure. The AV-a large latex tube coated with warm lubricant -is used primarily to get sperm from dairy bulls (considered the most ornery and dangerous of bovines). The bull gets randy with a steer; when he mounts the steer with his forelegs, a brave technician, AV in hand, insinuates himself between the two aroused beasts and deftly redirects the bull's penis into the mock genitalia, which he must then hold tight while the bull orgasms. (Talk about bull riding!) Three additional technicians attempt to ensure this (fool)hardy soul's safety by anchoring themselves to restraining ropes attached to a ring in the bull's nose. Alas, this isn't always absolutely effective: Everyone who's wielded an AV has had at least one close call, and more than a few have been sent to the hospital. The much safer "digital pressure" is used mostly with pigs, who are trained from an early age to mount a small bench while the researcher reaches around with a gloved hand and provides appropriate pleasure-er, pressure. (Link)



Cat Food Quality Controller

British man Jon Hanson had what he describes as the worst job in his entire life: quality control on cat food. His task involved several test as he describes. Test 1: Bury face in a huge tub of it and sniff it to make sure it's fresh. Test 2: Plunge arms in it up to the elbows and grope for bony bits and take them out. Test 3: Scoop up huge dollop of it, smear it flat on surface and prod it with fingers to test how much gristle is there. Uggghh! (Link)

Maybe Hibs should change the name of this thread to ''Its a hand job'' ....()

And I thought trying to tip winners at Scottsville in summer or at the Vaal anytime was a shit job....I need to show more gratitude.<

Cat Food Quality Controller

I had a friend with the same type of job, he died.

It was not the food that killed him, he broke his neck trying to lick his own ass ()

Good one, Dave!(

@antsinner:

Ur interview confirmed for the job.

Set for 5,30 at Turffontein Racecourse (Room 007,5), today; see Mr Greaser.

We have also decided on subsidising your transport costs (since you have arnica oil!); attached is your redeemable voucher (don't even think to do so at BettingWorld or Hollywood!).

BTW:

The queue right now starts from Bloemfontein!

Lol!


()

Umlilo, "The queue right now starts from Bloemfontein!" I just laughed out loud at that, sies, jou vark!

Will Antsi get into the pantsi's? Watch this space for further updates.

left late last nite for bloem ,was weighting in the que for the final declarations
Since two in the morning.
The forkers said that my merit rating was too low and they would give me the consolation banyana banana job .
I said to the would be boss ' i accept the job on condition that i pick the squad'
he didn't like that.
I took my arnica oil and forked off to bookies
for the turffies meeting , gonna try and get my rating up for next season!

Ant, you're a trooper! Wishin you all the best! May all your bets be winning ones ... {Mavvie salutes, turns briskly on heel and marches off screen whistling 'Blaze Away'}